bought a new putter, a new strap for my golf bag, new shoes, and a golf flove today. All in anticipation of Myrtle Beach. MWHAHAHAH!!! I find out tomorrow whether or not any of this will help my game, as a bucnh of us will take advantage of the nice weather (and the lull in the Nascar season) to play some golf! RAH!!

Life's sweet ironies. I passed this old woman on the way to work this morning and took off at a pretty good clip from her. And of course I hit every light along the way. And no matter how fast I drove, or how sloooooow she drove, she always seemed to be right behind me in my rear view mirror. God I hated that. :) You hear about it all the time. The Tortoise and the Hare. Now, of course, this wouldn't happen every day. most days I would get the lights, or go through them while they're yellow and she would be left behind. But some times, it's just good to be put in your place like that. A small dose of humility. I'm not going to say whether I like it or hate, because really, that's not the issue. It's about knowing that you have a place, and no matter how high or low you are on the totem pole, you're just as special and important and worthy of life as the person next to you. And vice versa.

I hate fucking guilt trips. Everyone loves to just make you feel like no matter what you do, no matter what decision you make, you can sure as hell bet that they'll have a comment on how you could have done better. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all I say. I got my shit together. And I do what I want damnit!! :p

WooHoo!! Free stuff is good stuff I always say! I came home today to find that Microsoft sent me a game. I guess there was a mix up and someone thought I didn't get a replacement for my damaged game. I got Halo a few days after they filed the report, but now I have Crimson Skies! MWHAHAHA!!!!

And life goes on......

Won the Nascar bet again!! MWHAHAH!! I have to save the $5 I made. That way if I lose next time, I won't be out $5. :) Time to do some work! RAH!!

Well. It was some crazy shit last night. :) Cet had her 22nd birthday party and things were going, ok. Some people were getting weird and what not, but nothing unusual for this crowd. That didn't last long however, as some of the undesirable element showed up, looking for a fight. I was upstairs, petting the cat, about to just pass out. I hadn't had a drink all night, and actually had coffee instead of beer. :p But I heard some commotion downstairs and was hoping someone had just fallen down. But after a good ten seconds or so I decided the party was over. As I got downstairs I saw people being seperated and what not, and did my best to get people to understand that they needed to leave. Of course, no one listened to me. :p That was to be expected though. So we finally got the people we didn't know moved outside and when I came back in, I was told I should call the cops. Of course, the second they got wind of that outside, they took off. And within 10 minutes, 3 cops showed up. LOL! That's when you know you live in the right neighborhood. :p I think I handled things pretty well. Didn't lose my temper. Didn't make an ass out of myself. Of course, I was still made fun of because I didn't call the police FAST enough. Well, I figure if that's the worst thing I get remembered for, I think I can live with it. :)

Went car shopping today. I'm just not sure if I can afford what I want. A 2003 grand prix would be nice. Though it's white, which isn't my favorite car color. The Oldsmobile Alero is kind of cool, if a bit chicky looking. The Bonneville was quite nice. Had LOTS of cool little after market features. But I don't think I can get it. It'll probably be a few months before i get something anyway, but the prospects are slim.

You know. Losing 10 pounds was easy. Seems I've already hit the wall with this whole diet thing. :p I need to lose at least twenty more. Hopefully I can lose up to 30. That'll put me at 180, and make me one sexy bitch!! Rawr!!! I can't give up though. I think I should be under 210 by the end of the week. That's positive thinking for you. :)

Well well well. Seems like there's a little angst brewing at the bank. :P Seems Tani (another teller who will soon be the head teller it seems) didn't show up for work today. (Sick son.) Though the same exact thing happened after the last holiday (so she basically got a 4 day weekend instead of the three day one we all got). now I don't personally care about this, but it seems the other ladies were a bit put out by this. Especially since her son had some really weird sickness. (He had a cough that made him throw up. Hey, I couldn't make it up if I tried.) So there was a lot of mumbling and grumbling amongst the assembled crowd, and they were all really happy that I stayed all day (was supposed to have a half day today.) Plus I'm coming in tomorrow to help out, and all of next week. They don't even care if I work overtime which is saying something huge!! So I've got all sorts of brownie points to be cashed in over a period of time, because you know I'm going to say something stupid sooner or later. :p

I was sitting there today, watching the Daytona 500 (which I won with a bet on Dale Earnhardt jr. :p ) and noticed my cousin and his new girlfriend holding hands. And it was like that new relationship holding hands, brushing fingers back and forth along each other's hands and what not, and it got me to thinking. That's what I really miss about being in a relationship. It's not the sex, or running around doing crazy stuff, or anything fickle like that. It basically comes down to two things. Holding hands and cuddling. I know if I were in a new relationship, it would be very hard to hold back my feelings of relief and joy that someone cared about me again. It's something I think all of us who have been "without" for a while have trouble doing. It's so easy to just jump right in and be totally enamoured with this new person to the point where you get attached way too early and become dependant upon this other person. I know I've felt like that before, and it feels great at the time, but it can come back to bite you so quickly. But god, it felt wonderful just to be in the room with something like that. And even if their relationship doesn't work out, I'm glad I was there to see them holding hands. It brought me back to a happy place I guess. And that, in and of itself was a good thing. :) And that's why I love Valentine's Day. I know a lot of people don't agree with it and all, but I've never been with someone on that day, and I'd love to just do something very special for that. Maybe some day. :)

It's the little things in life. Like getting stuff moved and cleaned and organized. Well, two out of three ain't bad. And I think I managed to slip some roses into the house and up to my mom's bedroom without her knowing it. I performed this covert operation by first, not bringing the flowers into the house right away, acting non-chalantly (right), and eventually bringing them in the back way and hiding them in a box that I was taking to the attic. Hopefully they'll last long enough in the vase (yes I put water in the vase). I'd hate for her to go up stairs tonight and see a bunch of wilted flowers by the bedside.

Day 300,000 or so of my intrepid adventure into the inner workings of my mind. So far, it's a lot like purgatory. A vast emptiness which I seem to be doomed to wander forever. MWHAHAH!!! I don't really know what the hell that was all about, but I it sounded funny, and it was the first thing that came into my head. Eagerly awaiting my trip to Myrtle beach in late March, early April. Hopefully something interesting will happen so I don't completely waste my time (and yours) on here. :p

I had some really friggin' weird dreams last night into this morning. (Had today off, so I could sleep in.) And they always get weirder after you've been lying in bed for a bit awake and fall back asleep. You know, one of those dreams where you're in and out of consciousness the entire time. It was just.....weird. But I killed the bad guy (and his son because he was evil too.) and I saved the day!! Huzzah to me!!

I loathe going to Waldenbooks anymore. I'm glad I won't have to do it any longer. Two more nights and I'm done.

Back to the grind of healthy eating and exercising. Went for an hour or so tonight on the NordicTrack. I seem to have a lot more energy if I've had a good sized meal for dinner instead of some rabbit food. Must be the carbs. :p Seems to me that the people who don't want to eat carbs are the ones who are unwilling to exercise. All the Atkin's diet folk I know of are heavyset folk who would rather cut out an entire section of a healthy diet just to avoid a little activity. Then again, what do I know. :)

Saw Serpico last night. For those who are unfamiliar with the movie, it stars a young Al Pacino as a New York cop who is outraged at the corruption in the New York police departments. He acts a lot like I do in that movie. For better and worse. :p Today I'm trying to get some artwork done. Have a couple t-shirt designs to finish and maybe work on some Children's book stuff. I figure I might as well see how well those mental muscles are working. :)

Whole lot of nothing going on. Sometime's that's kind of nice. :)

nothing amazing happened today. Well, nothing amazing enough to talk about. :) I'm tired. I think I might go to bed early. *gasp*

woke up this morning to drive to work only to find out a watermain had broken on one of the highways I take to the bank, so traffic was just about a bitch. Later in the day I thought I'd inquire about taking full time at the bank, as I was seriously debating just quitting Waldenbooks. Well, debate no longer. I found out the head teller is taking on more account opening sorts of responsibilities, so they were going to hire a new teller and maybe cut back my hours. I of course said FUCK THAT! And took the full time position. The extra I make should cover the amount I'll be losing from Walden's. And I'll be working about 10 hours less a week. So it's probably for the best. But I'll miss my open Wednesdays. Ah, the choices we have to make. :)

I had one of those dreams last night where you wake up afterwards saying things to yourself like "Holy beJesus!" Or "What the hell?!" I dreamt I was working some part time job, something like a catering service I guess because there was a party and all these people from some family having a good time. I was just hanging around, shooting the breeze with random people when this Indian or Pakistani or Basically MIddle Eastern guy came up to me and said he needed me to stay later to help out with some stuff. I looked at the clock, and it was about 11:30, and I knew my shift ended at 10. So I said I couldn't, I wanted to get home and go to bed. He started saying I had to, and it blew up from there. We started yelling at each other and all this crazy stuff, and eventually he said he was going to call the cops. I told him to go right ahead. I was within my rights not to work for him, but someone whispered in my ear that his brother was the cop he was calling. Of course I sat there and said "I don't care! I'm right!" yet another time where I can't seem to look past my righteous fury. :p Though I think this whole dream had something to do with working at Waldenbooks last night. The store manager is a complete idiot. She couldn't manager her way out of a paper bag. So of course we got out of there much later then we should have. Luckily I don't have to close with her the rest of the week. But I really need to find another part time job. This one is just retarded. Though the discount and free "rental" of books is nice. :P (I'm such a hypocrite. Yes, I know. It's in my nature.)

Went to try and vote on the Democratic primaries, but registered independents can't vote in DE like they can in New Hampshire. *sniffle* And it is RIAINING outside!! Just the walk from the car to the school where the polling spot was got me drenched. I ran back to the car after I got out and it was even worse! So I'm happy to be inside now. :p

Now I just have to figure out how to get some of these rebates on my new computer stuff.

Happy Birthday to Me. :)

Had a good time today. Though I completely broke down on the diet. I should be able to get back on track this week. So far it's been about 10 pounds. Down to 210. I've got at least 20 more to go. Saw the Super Bowl. A lot better game then I thought it would be. And hanging out at the club was better then I thought it would be. And Nat sent me a birthday e-gram. :) That was nice. I was wondering if I would get something or not. I am pleased.

Oh, and if you want to play a game that will scare the ever loving crap out of you, Silent HIll is the stuff. It's like a Resident Evil type of game with undead thingies running around everywhere. But these undead thingies are just down right disgusting. Mismatched boday parts, scabby skin, burnt flesh, yuk. To give you an idea. One of the thingies is a hodge podge of two lower bodies. One set of legs to walk on, and another set of legs attached upside down that acts as a torso. Freaking weird! Add that too the fact that you're either in dark corridors with just a flashlight, or out on city streets where the fog only lets you see a few feet in front of you with creepy sounds coming out of the mist, and you get an idea of what it's like. Don't ever play it in the dark!!!

That's it. I'm done!