I remembered what I was I wanted to say the other day. I've noticed lately that you can't just strike up conversations with random people anymore. It used to be easy to talk to someone standing in line next to you waiting for something, or if you bump into them by accident and what not. Now, the only people willing to say more then two words to you are guys who are trying to sell you something. Usually it's someone who's trying to get you to sell their business to other people. Shit like that. Sad sad sad. I miss talking to random people. It used to be fun.

And I finally got the cholesterol medication. After much red tape and gnashing of teeth I've started on it. Yummy. Tastes like chicken.

I had a profound observation to make earlier today.....but I forgot what it was. :p So I guess I'll just have to be content with being the happy me and move on. I have the entire weekend to myself. No work on Saturday, and the Super Bowl on Sunday. Though I don't really feel like watching the game. Can't really eat a lot of food. Can't drink. So I'll pretty much be paying $20 to go to the Italian club to hang out with people I should be able to hang out with for free. :\ Seems like the fraternity I never wanted to be a part of. But I am thinking of taking a trip to Washington D.C. on Saturday. Maybe stay over night, or got to Baltimore. The riverfront there can be fun at night. Now I just need to find a date. :p

We had a customer at the bank today who is from Poland. He had his passport on him and it was completely in Polish. And the first thing that came to my mind was 'I bet Nat would know what this all says.' I was hoping I could remember where she lived. I like striking up conversations with people from other ocuntries that I've either been too or Nat's been to. Helps break the ice and what not. But I find that at least once a day, something reminds me of her. And it's all silly, little stuff. Something as simple as watching a movie that has actors with British accents. Or reading about places I've been with her. Random stuff like that. Now I'm not depressed about that or anything, in fact it's kind of nice to reminisce a little bit. It just seems funny how little things in life can remind you of something completely different. :)

Got my Xbox back from the repair center. Of course they either gave me a completely new one free of charge, or they wiped the memory on it, so all of my saved game files are gone! GAH!! It's no fun playing the same game 3 times over. :\ So I'll take some time off from the Xbox to do other things. I have some art I could do. Though artwork nowadays seems like too much work. I don't enjoy doing it like I used to. The inspiration is always there. Ideas abound, but I am forever disgruntled with my own personal ability to actually bring to life the visions I see in my head. People say I do good work, but I look at it and only see the flaws. What I can do to make a piece better, yada yada. I guess I just need a muse. Something to inspire me. :) Know of any? :p

I have now managed to completely remove my old computer and /replace/ it with my NEW computer! MWHAHAH!!! I can now play the Sims without having to save every three seconds and wait for my computer to crash! I spent the first few hours getting my little guy's logic, creativity, charisma, and other little attributes up to full power before letting him get a job and making the big bucks. :p Of course, I have like 15 other games I can play now too!

Sometimes life just deals you fucking lemons, and you either make lemonade, or bitch about all the rotting lemons you've got hanging around you. So I've decided I'm going to have to take Lipitor, regardless of my severe reservations about the drug's long term effects on my body. For those of you who don't know, Lipitor is a cholesterol inhibiting drug. It interacts with your liver to regulate the amount of cholesterol your body produces. The problem is that it could also adversely affect your liver and could cause damage to it. Hence the reason I'm not too keen on taking it. This basically means I won't be able to drink alcohol anymore, which in and of itself isn't the worst thing in the world, but damnit, it'd be nice to have a drink with friends from time to time. Now I have to cut that out. Plus the things I can't eat any more, plus getting guilt trips for all the other things I'm not doing right in other people's eyes. I don't mind hearing constructive criticisms or ideas on how to improve my appearance for women and what not, or how to control my confrontational personality, but when I say "I understand how you feel, but you also have to understand that we're just going to disagree on this subject.", that means I'm done discussing the issue. I don't want to hear /more/ of what the other person thinks I should. Or what I'm doing wrong. I'm just tired of fighting. So yet again, I'll do it someone else's way. I'll just take the damn drug, and if I develop some kind of cancer or something from that, I'm sure I'll be blamed for something I did wrong while I was on the drug. It will never be the drug. It'll be I ate a piece of sausage or something. I was in a room that had second hand smoke, and that caused my cancer of the liver. I can see it now. By the way, I'm mad.

Finally, the weekend. Of course I have no plans, but it gives me time to acquaint myself with my NEW COMPUTER!!!

Just a quick one tonight. I got my computer today and will be feverishly setting it up!! Yummy.....

The part time job sounds like it's going to get a lot less appealing here in the next few weeks. Seems if you're good enough to stay on the payroll after X-mas, they give you more responsibility. Now I have to manage an entire section of the store. Of course this doesn't come with a pay raise. If this were my only job, I might not say anything, but I have a good job, and this one is paying next to nothing. Time to look for another one it seems. Though I need to find something that pays a lot better. Working for peanuts just isn't worth my time.

Gotta love government holidays. :) And I'm actually doing something constructive for a change!! Making birthday cards, cards for friends in general, and hopefully, some actual artwork itself. I need to digitally fix a painting, and work on another. Work work work. :) And I've set up my old DVD player down here in the basement, so now I can watch ANY movie I own while I work. I'm sure this will help........lol.

Yup. The Eagles lost. And this time it was for the right reasons (if you can justify it that way.) Damn receivers are crap. We didn't deserve to win. But my graham cracker pudding cake was a success!! Gotta take the good with the bad I guess. :) I love stuff that takes less then a half an hour to make and has everyone saying "YUM!!" Oh, and older chicks can be very hot. My aunt brought over a friend of hers that I know from when I was doing the art full time to see the game, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She's about 46 or so, but has a great butt and is a lot more intelligent then she sounds. (She has one of those nasal sort of voices). And apparantly I had a crush on her when I was 6, but I don't remember that. (She's the one who told me I did!) So I figure I might as well pick up where I left off with her. :p

It's funny how some days it just seems like every person you see is with someone else. Must be the weekend. :p I think I'm having post-large-purchase-anxiety. Friggin $1,200!!! Gah!! I'm stupid!! Oh well. Not like I have to spend money on anything else. :p

Dude!! I just bought a Dell!! Yes. I decided it was high time I upgrade my computer, (and by default upgrade my mother's PC which is about as much of a dinosaur as you can find these days, what with it's 75mhz processor and large 650MB hard drive, along with a whopping 14.4 modem. yummy. :p ) I just figured I couldn't pay for it outright, but I sure as hell can FINANCE it!! MWHAHAHA!! Though the credit report asked some personal questions to verify my identity that I almost didn't remember. :p So that would have been funny. To be denied credit because of my selective memory.

Besides that, it seems like another Friday night at home. Have to watch Dr. Strangelove before it's due tomorrow, so I guess it's good that no one calls me. I was checking my cell today to see how far back I could trace my incoming calls. The phone only holds the last 10 calls you've recieved, and I can trace one back to November 29th. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth having the damn thing, but that'll be the day I need it I guess. :) Such is life in the big world.

And for the love of Pete, could I ever find a woman?!!! Just someone who likes a nice dinner, maybe a play or musical. Some fucking culture!!! <----and that should be an oxymoron. Like Military intelligence, or Jumbo Shrimp. :p

Broke down and bought a Cinnabun today. Love those things, but they are SOOOOO very bad for you. oh well. Back to the pills and salads tomorrow. Hopefully, if all goes according to plan tomorrow, I'll be buying some new golf shoes and a nice fat driver to take with me to Myrtle Beach in March. I'm looking forward to perusing their wares at the DuPont country Club. MWHAHAHAH!!!! :p

That's right baby! The Eagles have survived to see another week in the playoffs and that's about just the best things that's happened all weekend. :p Great game, though I would have loved to see a blowout. But a win is a win, and we'll see Carolina next week. Pasta at the grandparents was good today, nice and spicy, the way I like it; and pretty much just a day to recover from everything in life. A good day for reflection and introspection. That's why I like having this day to myself. Gives me some time to think about who I am and what I want out of life. Some interesting things come to mind too. Guess I'll have to expound on them at some time in the future. ;)

I think I've finally kicked the flu bug out the door. (Rat bastard that he is. That'll teach him not to pay the rent!!) Now I have to get back to the good eating and exercising to help keep off the weight I lost in the last week. And I don't think much of it was due to the illness. I've been doing pretty well food wise (though tonight was a mental breakdown as I made a run for the border to Taco Bell) and as I can jump back on the stationary bike 3 or 4 times a week, I should be well on my way to the 200 (pound) mark within a month or so. I figure a few pounds every three or four days is more then enough. The bitch will be when I hit about 195. Those last 10 or 15 pounds I want to lose will be there hardest I'm sure.

Still sick. It's annoying. I usually only get sick for a day, or two at the most. This is going on 4. ugh. I think I'm going to run up to Blockbuster and bust out some movie rentals and just hole myself up in my room for the day. I don't have anywhere to be, and I doubt anyone will call to ask if I'm even able to go out, so I should be able to get some long movies or some season long DVDs. I love DVDs for that. You can watch a show from the first episode to the last now if you so desire. :) It would have been so amazingly annoying to do that with VHS. Especially the rewinding! Thank you DVDs!!

Still fairly sick, though not as congested as yesterday thank god. And I'm hungry. For what, I don't know, but I'm hungry!! Oh well. And you know you're out of it when a girl is giving you looks while she's ringing you up and you're wondering if you're giving her the look of a suave, sexy guy, or the piercing stare of a raving psychopath. In the end, I figured I was sick and it didn't matter either way, but you still have to wonder. :p

And I'm thinking about maybe taking a trip back to Europe at some point in the next year or two. I'm not much for whirlwind tours, so I may keep it to one or maybe two countries. I haven't been to Germany yet, so that might be cool. There's so much to see. I'll have to plan well, unless I take 2 full weeks of vacation. Though these days, I don't know too many companies that allow you to take that much time off. Then again, I'm a nobody, so they might not care as much. :p

I am just about as sick as I can get. Feels like I have a lake sitting somewhere behind my nose and eyes. Need sleep.

This is one of those days where my life seems completely boring. AND I LOVE IT!!! Went to the grandparents for lunch (yum yum, good farfale pasta), took mom mom to the grocery store, which was interesting because she likes to slam dunk her purchases into the cart instead of placing them, so it's probably best that I was there, or there could have been an egg catastrophe in aisle 15. Now I'm home, doing NOTHING AT ALL!!! MWHAHAHAH!! It's nice. Me likey mui mui. :p

Stayed up till 4 am last night. Didn't get out of bed till 4 this afternoon. Must have been a day off. But it wasn't. Had to work the part time job tonight. No biggie. Just did what I had to do and came home. Yummy. (not)

Ah, another Friday night here at home. I guess it's best this way. I just don't fit in sometimes. I think that has a lot to do with me personally. I have to get over my fears of being the outcast and just be with people. I think I did well today. Took my vitamins, did the oatmeal, salad, and sushi (yum yum) for dinner. Now I'm fighting hard to /not/ eat something late at night. I think I can win this battle. Tomorrow I may try some painting. I have the time, just need to get the will. HUZZAH!!!

So here we are. The final parties for the season are through. No real excuses now to eat stuff that's bad for me (except the occasional chocolate fix of course. :p ) And I /need/ to do something!! So my new year's resolution is to drop 100 points off of my cholesterol count. Right now I'm at 350, and at 3 times the risk for a heart attack then most people are. I figure if I can get it down to 250 (which still isn't ideal, but it would be an improvement along with being the lowest score i've ever had) it would also mean that I've lost the weight I want to lose, and hopefully feel better about myself then I do at the moment. Now I'm not saying I hate myself or anything, but I don't have the confidence to ask girls out or just be myself in public with the way I look and feel right now. So that's my goal. Whether I want it to be or not, that's pretty much my #1 priority in life right now.